Past and Present

I don’t know why things have change and I don’t think there is anything I could do to change it back. Heck, I don’t even know if I want to change it back. As great as life was in the past, there are still things I cherish here in this future.

I first met Meg when I was 12 on an online game called Ragnarok Online. Soon after I startd emailing her in the morning before school. After that, online messengers. We would talk for hours and hours every day In the end I think she understood me far more than anyone ever has, or ever will. I ended up falling in love with her but she didn’t want to bewith me. I still think she loved me regardless. I was her best friend. It wasn’t until my junior year of high school hwhen our relationship change. I blamed her for it but I was probably more to blame. She started being different. More out going. She started dating more and becoming more of a flirt. I reacted in a terrible manner. I basically stopped talking to her for a long time. Honestly our relationship hasn’t been the same since. I miss the way things were. Recently she got married. She sent me pictures and god did she look beautiful. Breath taking even. As odd as it may sound my first thought when I saw her standing next to her husband to-be was “ Wow, It could have been me” and I wanted it to be to some respect.
Now onto my present. I am currently in a relationship with a girl that I really do love. She is so much fun and I love everything about her. Her smile, her laugh. She beautiful and smart too! She’s witty and so sweet. I meet her working at my first job(McDonalds). Whenever she was around I would flirt with her. I would always look at her schedule hoping I would work with her. Whenever I knew she was coming in I would get all giddy and excited. I was so nervous to ask her out but im glad I did. I’ve been so happy for the 11 months we’ve dated. Even now all I want to do is run over to her house with flowers just to see that smile.
In comparison to the girl I mentioned in the first paragraph she is very different but still alike. My current girlfriend is very affectionate. She would trade everything in her life just to have me hold her tight. She loves is a lot like me. She loves to hav fun and make jokes and she loves me so whole heartedly. The girl I mentioned in the second paragraph has always had a lot to talk about. She’s always wanted to share her life with me. My life was her life and her life, mine. I like to think that deep down she still loves me as she used to but as time flies I find myself questioning it more and more. There is so much I miss but yet so much I currently love. Wish I could have both but I don’t think I ever will get them both.
Take it easy,
Juan Munoz

^.^

There have been many new developements latly and Im kind of excited to talk about them.

First I'd like to say that my relationship with my girlfriend is going fantastic and and I love her so much! She's sweet and caring and smart and funny and everything I want in a girl. We've been together 4 months now and theyve been like the best 4 months ever for me.

I've been getting better and better at my baseball camp. I keep suprising everybody with how good I pitch since I lack good velo. I have recently developed a curveball whcih was taught to me by the pitching coach. He had me tape 2 baseballs together and throw them and try to get the baseballs to spin straight up and down. I can never get them to go straight up and down but i get it close enough and it helps me keep my hand on top of the ball ( I always had a problem with my curve turning into a slider) And I've been controling it so well latly. I can confidently throw any pitch at any time which is giving me a real edge agaisnt hitters. I can even throw a curve or a splitter in a 3-2 count which is hard to get confident with. I had to face about 7 guys saturday and i threw about 20+ at bats which was a lot in those types of sessions. the catcher actually had to ask if my arm was ok since I was throwing so much but I honestly felt completely fine. I spoke to Mike who is like the best hitter in the place ( and my biggerst rival there) he said I had everyone guessing so bad, they didnt know what was coming next. I think he has the most respect for me because he knows I actually want him to hit against me. which is new to him he's used to guys beign afraid of him but I would rather know how good I am by testingg my skills rather than hiding from challenge. He took me deep on one pitch. It was a splitter right down the heart of the plate which was my mistake I know better. I had to tell the catcher to set up inside on him because he likes setting up outside. On a guy like that you have to jam him so he cant get his arms around. Funny thing was Mike knew I said to set up inside. We both know that's his weakness and even knowing where the pitch will be he still grounded out weakly the next time up. another thing was when the owner of the camp had a bet going on who would be the best hitter agaisnt me and he lost no matter what because there were all terrible hahaha.
I also have a baseball session with my highschool. I pitched some there last monday and I did just as great I suprised the JV coach who was basically the pitching coach that day. The Var coach didnt see but I dont care wether or not I make the team this year. My father is starting a 18U legion team called the cyclones. I cant wait for it to start!

I got accepted into 3 colleges! Carthege college which is a private school in kenosha. University of Milwaukee White water which is in white water and University of milwaukee Wisconsin which is in milwaukee. I was happy i got accepted into 3 out of 5 of the colleges I applied to. And the other 2, One was Twin cities in minnesota... I turned that one in late so I am on a waiting list and the other one I applied to was mostly out of boredum.. its called Eureka college in illinois.

So I want to get Laura something special for valentines day. I dont know what though. But they sell flowers in her school so I plan to buy her 2 dozen and a suprise. After that I dont know... I'll think of something.
well thats all! See ya!

New Job? Euphoric love?

My last post was a year ago. At this point you might be thinking : "he must have soooooooo much to say!" but no, not much has changed. I still rock, you still don't. Don't be sad, i bet you're getting somewhat closer to my level of rock-age. Anyways so here are some events that have happen in the past, I don't know, year?

I got a job working at Mc Donalds. I worked there for about a year. It sucks. The job is long and repetetive and it takes no actual skill. I rock at it though, much like how I rock at everything else! Everything wasn't a complete wash though. I met the girl of my dreams there, and she is currently my girlfriend. I'm just so amazingly happy it's hard to explain. More on that later. I just recently quit and got a new job which I was totally happy about! I currently sell cell phones at a kiosk in the mall. So far I am good at it. I worked one week and in that week I sold six phones, four upgrades and two new lines. It's somewhat boring though, the Racine mall sucks! I make more money at this job. At McDonalds I was making $6.10 hourly. Now I make $7 hourly plus commission. So this job rocks!

Meg and I our talking again! We went through a rut all last year. I don't want to talk about it but I just didn't like some of her decisions then. It carried into just recently. We had a long talk and we just let everything go. I'm still waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay cooler then her though! Frankie and Meg are having some trouble but it's on and off...they're fighting ....they're not fighting...i don't know anymore....fucking married couples!

Now onto Laura, the main event for,well, anything these days. I met her at McDonalds and It's been great ever since. We were just friends for a long time. I was shy, ya dig? At one point we both knew we liked each other and I didn't act on it for another 2 weeks! My last girlfriend was trash compared to Laura. I'm her first boyfriend which still amazes me, she's such an amazing girl. She's smart, funny, witty, charismatic, beautiful, and she completely has my heart. Have you ever heard your dad or grand dad tell you a story about how when they met their spouse for the first time they went home to their mother and said "that's the girl I'm going to marry"? That's exactly how I feel. I really want to marry her one day. Even if i did meet someone better, I wouldn't want her. I want Laura. Anything we do you can just feel genuine affection. Anywhere from holding hands to kissing. There's just a sense of euphoria I get. It's Impossible to explain how much I love her. I've tried. I feel like an idiot when I try! I love everything about her. She couldn't be more perfect in my eyes. I don't feel like I'm good enough for her though. I'm not that awesome of a guy, what would stop her from finding someone better? I'm lucky to be with her.

well that's it for now folks. I hope you had fun. It's rather short but I'm going to bed. I'm going to start doing daily or weekly posts...i haven't decided yet.

here's the love of my life right here :

New blog.

So its back to a life of jokes ,early sleep , taking tests ,and my least favorite learning.School has started , as you might have guessed.My classes seem alright so far.I see my Gemoetry 2 to 3 times a day because she is my homeroom ,studyhall,and Geometry teach.She seems nice for a math teacher.Its good that i see her so much because i've been told it will probably be a hard class ,as will Chemistry.I recently found this song called "The Glow" by Willie Hutch,its an old 80's song from a move called the Last Dragon.Good ass movie!!Now my brother and I both want to see the movie.I find my English teach to be fun because he never has any emotion in anything that he does.Its Humerous in a way.I've mad a few ne friends,and have been talking to old ones aswell.Its funny though,some of the friends I looked forward to seeing the most I hardly have seen at all.
In Gym class they asked us to sign up for what unit we want to take.My top three,in order,were Team games,Weight training,and basketball.I really wanted to take weight training first,but a friend of mine wanted me to do team games so I went along like an idiot.When i went into the weight room my friends wanted to see if I could lift some weights on the weight bench. With the bar incuded it added up to be 135lbs.I lifted it and to my amazment it felt way easier then when i lift at home.The thing is,I only lift 110 lbs at home and it feels difficult.So I thought that was cool...
I'm still playing baseball.And im still in a slump.ive gotten 2 hits in about 7 games....I'm getting desperate and the more i get desperate the worse it becomes.When i go up to bat so many things go threw my head."get a hit , get a hit."
"focus" "dont think" "fuck i gotta get a hit this time" its different then how i was before.I've lost confidence and im over thinking. Defensivly im perfect.I think I've made 1 error.And that time the ball hit the edge off the infield grass and bounces away. Im not making excsused i just sucked becayse i couldnt get it.I'm still not using my splitter as much as i want.I gotta get more of those in.



well thats all for now , peace

Escuela!

Let see Now that summer has ended and school has started up, hey, i might actually have someting to type about other then my baseball team losing by 1 point in the last inning of the first round of the play offs.
Funny the very first day of school I found all my friends right away ,or..or should i say we all found each other? Well things arent the same as last yr but thats just like everyyr i dont see much of my friend Nolan anymore since i only have lunch with him and hes been going out the past 3 weeks for lunch.Other then that its just as fun as last yr i see alot more of Rosary and Kira too wich is always fun.
Megs brother , Rick linked me to a different Ro server called Xilero it was fun i had a lvl 230 lord knight but today i just go soooo fucking bored with it i just completely deleted Ro from my comp...my bro tried to make me stay on it but well...hey...i dun want to play anymore.well Meg and me is the same as usually pointless talk but fun just the same. Today when she got on she was ranting on and on about how child rights are violated.Now i couldnt really keep up with anything she was sayin cause she was typing a paragraph every 2 seconds but i dunno i love seeing her extremeley enthused about things it reminds me that she can be pointless AND keep the intelectual side of her that i still like alot.
So My xile friend Sam showed me her "MySpace" site and i was wonderin' how to get music on it..i had it be4 but it was my own embed code and it was mids wich not everyone could hear.well she told me how (vagueley shes sucks at directions...and spelling...and spelling in her directions XD) so i was looking for what song to use when i stumbled across the Trapt album that just came out i guess.Now ive heard "headstrong" i mean who hasnt? and after i downloaded a few songs from them a while back headstrong was the only song i liked.When i listened to this album i like every song on there its a bloody good album dammit if i had a money...i wouldnt buy it but id download it and pay for blank discs to burn it XD.
Well im typing away killin time before saturday night cartoons come on.That reminds me Naruto came out on toonami last week it was alright the voices were juuust barely ok and they over pronounced Naruto like a motha fucka the seriously pronounces it naah-roo toe with and over the top T aswell.Been watchin this new anime called "eyesheild21" its about a freshman kid whos been bullied his whole life.one day some bullies were messin with him he decided to run. now it just so happends the quarter back of the american football team (the team consists of 2 people hehe) saw him run and he runs fast as hell.like u know how the fastest runner runs about 4.2 second on a 60 yrd dash? he can run it in 4.2 if not faster.anyways he ends up joining and they start winning some games...point being its a fucking good anime.Well see ya i gtg watch some toons now.

Lately ive been having a blast.Not all at once its more subtle but when i think back its just a blast.Meg and me stayed up till 1:30 one night just talking wich is what i do with everyone but with her its different we can talk for hours about irrelevent and relevent stuff we have a hard time staying on one subject for a long period of time we'd start off talking about how our daily lives are going and we'd end up talking about her headline news and how people in her chior class are preppy.Well just so happend at 1:30 my dad wakes up and starts yelling so i have to get off.tthe day after that i couldnt go on but we went to my mom's job carnical/picnic thing.they had free games and prizes now this stuff is for kids but my immaturitey kicked in and i even had my 35 yr old bro playin some of the games.I won ajestur hat complete with jingly bells,an eyeball,a teddybear i call jorge,and a mechanical claw it was sweet.heh its funny how me and meg spend a week jst barely talking to each other like id get on right when she has to get off and vice versa.But when we do get time to talk its like a 4-5 hr thing great.Lately Meg and i have been more open with our feeling toward one another.She told me how she beleives her life would be so different without me in it how ive helped her so much.Heh i beleived it was only me wo felt that way about her.she changed me in the sence that i matured alot quicker.when i met her i was 13 and i was still asking people (actually just girls) we still make jokes bout when i met her.But i mean you gotta understandwhen i was 13 i'd just go on yahoo pool and look for what girls are on and id try to hit on them.but when i met her i grew to stop doing that.actually i remebergoing on yahoo recently and when some girl started talking to me like i would to them back then i was actually sarcasttic towards them i was like:
girl: "asl?"
me:uuhhh....15/m/wi??
basically the entire conversation didnt go well XD.Meg also pushed me to be smarter then i was.i mean that girl was a genius id atleast have to be near the same level as her!!XD im still dumb but atleast i can carry on a conversation with her.
Ok wel i recently joined an anime forum and i was talking to someone on there about me playing baseball and they said they liked when i talked about baseball cause i spoke witha certain "pasion" about it.
speaking of baseball my season offically started.we r 3-2 the first game we actually played we won 18-6 second game agaisnt the cubs who we supposed to be the best we lost 11-0.but i dunno i wasnt very satisfied withtthat game i felt that everyone on my time was so worried about how good the team was rather then going out there to show how good we were and beleive me we could be on the same level as this team i beleive everyone was just phyched out.the next game we won 19-1 that game was boring it was with some kids who had just moved up from the junior league no fun.The next game we lost was a down right blast i knew half the team so it made it very fun.i went 1-3 wch isnt very good but hey im ok with that.i got to pitch 2 and a 3rd innings and i did better then everyone else on my team that day.
i mean in the first inning alone they scored 4 and when i was pitching no one scored. we lost 7-6 we sooo couldve won if we actual had semi decent hitters i mean we have a guy on second and me on 3rd and i was getting a monster lead off by the time the ball reached the glove i was about half way to home we had 1 out and our catcher bret is up whats odd about him is he's a beg dude but he cant hit for shit so he strikes out swining.and then Nolan our center feilder is up he strikes me as a guy who goes up to bat fearful hoping for a walk and when ur at the senior level you CANT by any means go up there like that i mean this guy nolan swing at a bad pitch and then looks at the next to strikes...game over.i ticks me off but it was a great game a game you could go home and think about for days about how awesome it was without even carring what the end result was.thats baseball at its best.

ok so im done bye

So over all its been good.Started baseball i like this team far better then my last team.
The mood is different and there are people who r 17 so they actually have something to teach you.We just had our first scrimage against the dodgers...we won 7-6...not very exciting i must say BUT ITS A WIN!Hmm...what else......UUUm a friend of mine started dating another friend of mine i beleive...im not gonna say there names because i dont think theyd appreciate that.Im kinda Iffy about it but...i mean is it really my decision?

Me and my friends were talking and we came up with a new style from now on every1 will be wearing panchos!
and with that dumbasss comment i am done w/ this post!